myself to the study of the lives of what my father considered really great
men--that is to say, men of great energies, and violent volition, who look
upon their fellow creatures as mere tools, with which they can build up a
pedestal for their solitary statue, and who sacrifice every feeling which
should sway humanity, and every high work which genius should really
achieve, to the short-sighted gratification of an irrational and
outrageous selfism. As for my manners, I flattered myself that they
advanced in measure with my mind, although I already emulated Napoleon. I
soon overcame the fear which attended my first experiments in society, and
by scrupulously observing the paternal maxims, I soon became very
self-satisfied. I listened to men with a delightful mixture of defference
and self-confidence: were they old, and did I differ with them, I
contented myself by positively stating my opinion in a most subdued voice,
and then either turning the subject, or turning upon my heel. But as for
women, it is astonishing how well I got on. The nervous rapidity of my
first rattle soon subsided into a continuous flow of easy nonsense.
Impertinent and flippant, I was universally hailed an original and a wit.
But the most remarkable incident was, that the baroness and myself became
the greatest friends. I was her constant attendant, and rehearsed to her
flattered ear all my evening performance. She was the person with whom I
practised, and as she had a taste in dress, I encouraged her opinions.
Unconscious that she was at once my lay figure and my mirror, she loaded
me with presents, and announced to all her coterie, that I was the most
delightful young man of her acquaintance.

From all this it may easily be suspected, that at the age of fifteen I had
unexpectedly become one of the most affected, conceited, and intolerable
atoms that ever peopled the sunbeam of society.

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