corners, and bring the toothpicks rare.'

"The waiter rushed away and all around us we could hear money
talking to itself.

"Fair women sat at the tables picking dishes out of the bill of
fare which brought the blush of sorrow to the faces of their
escorts. It was a wonderful sight, especially for those who have a
nervous chill every time the gas bill comes in.

"When we ate our modest little dinner the waiter presented a check
which called for three dollars and thirty-three cents.

"'The thirty-three cents is for what you ordered,' Alexander J.
Dumas explained, 'and the three dollars is for the French hangings
in the parlor.'

"'Holy Smoke!' I cried; 'that fellow Looey the Fifteenth has been
doing a lot of work around here hasn't he?' but the waiter was so
busy watching the finish of the change he handed me that he didn't
crack a smile.

"Then I got reckless and handed him a fifty-cent tip.

"The waiter looked at the fifty cents and turned pale.

"Then he looked at me and turned paler.

"Then he tried to thank me, but he caught another flash of that
plebeian fifty and it choked him.