Minnehaha is one of those fearless singers who vocalize without a
safety valve. She always keeps her eyes closed, so she can't tell
just when her audience gets up and leaves the room.

The next treat was a mixed duet on the flute and trombone between
Clarence Smith and Lancelot Diffenberger, with a violin obligate on
the side by Hector Tompkins.

Never before have I seen music so roughly handled.

It looked like a walk-over for Clarence, but in the fifth round he
blew a couple of green notes and Lancelot got the decision.

Then, for a consolation prize, Hector was led out in the middle of
the room, where he assassinated Mascagni's _Cavalleria Rusticana_
so thoroughly that it will never be able to enter a fifty-cent
table d'hote restaurant again.

Then Cornucopia Coogan arose and gave us a few select recitations.
She weighs 295 pounds and she was immense.

Just as she started to tell us that curfew would not ring to-night
Uncle Peter winked at me, and we sneaked out and began to drown our
sorrow.

Those musicales would be all to the good if the music didn't
suffocate them.

After the crowd had left that night Peaches said to me, "John,
Uncle Peter and Aunt Martha and I have been talking matters over