"A very polite lieutenant-waiter, with a sergeant-waiter and two
corporal-waiters, greeted us and we gave the countersign, 'Abandon
wealth, all ye who enter here.'

"Then the lieutenant-waiter and his army corps deployed by columns
of four and escorted us to the most expensive looking trough I ever
saw in a dining-room.

"'Peaches,' I said to my wife, 'I'm doing this to please you, but
after I pay the check, it's me to file a petition in bankruptcy.'

"But she only grinned, picked up the point-lace napkin and began to
admire the onyx furniture.

"'_Que souhaitez vous_?' said the waiter, bowing so low that I
could feel a chill running through my little bank account.

"'I guess he means you,' I whispered to Peaches, but she looked
very solemnly at the menu card and began to bite her lips.

"'_Je suis tout a votre service_,' the waiter cross-countered
before I could recover, and he had me gasping. It never struck me
that I had to take a course in French before entering the St. Regis
hunger foundry, and there I sat making funny faces at the
tablecloth, while my wife blushed crimson and the waiter kept on
bowing like an animated jack-knife.

"'Say, Mike!' I ventured after a bit; 'tip us off to a quiet bunch
of eating that will fit a couple of appetites just out seeing the
sights. Nothing that will put a kink in a year's income, you know,