Dear John, will you please pardon the liberty I take in grabbing a
two-cent stamp and jumping so unceremoniously at one who is, after
all, a perfect stranger?

Dear John, if you look around you can see on every hand that the
glad season of the year is here, and if you listen attentively you
may hear the hoarse cry of the summer resort beckoning us to that
burn from which no traveller returns without getting his pocketbook
dislocated.

Dear John, could you please tell me how to play bridge whist, so
that when I go to the seashore I will be armed for defraying
expenses.

Dear John, I am sure that if I could play bridge whist loud enough
to win four dollars every once in a while I could spend a large
bunch of the summer at the seashore.

Dear John, would you tell a loving but perfect stranger how to play
the game without having to wear a mask?

Dear John, I played a couple of games recently with a wide faced
young man who grew very playful and threw the parlor furniture at
me because I trumpeted his ace. I fancy I must have did wrong.
The fifth time I trumpeted his ace the young man arose, put on his
gum shoes, and skeedaddled out of the house. Is it not considered
a breach of etiquette to put on gum shoes in the presence of a lady?

If you please, dear John, tell me how to play bridge whist.