At last the blow had fallen!

I had promised her faithfully before we were married that I'd never
play the ponies again and I fell and broke my word.

The accident was painful, and I'd be a sad scamp to put her wise at
this late day, especially after being fried to a finish.

I simply didn't dare confess that my money had gone into a fund to
furnish a home for Incurable Bookmakers--what to do? What to do?

She had me lashed to the mast.

"May I inquire," my wife continued with the breath of winter in her
tones, "why it's all going out and nothing coming in? Have you
begun so soon to lead a double life?"

Mother, call your baby boy back home! If Uncle Peter would only
drop in, or Tacks or Aunt Martha or even the janitor!

Suddenly it occurred to me:

"Dearie," I said, "you have surprised my secret, and now nothing
remains but the pleasure of telling you everything."

A thaw set in.

"As you have stated, not incorrectly, my dear, large bundles of
Green Fellows have severed their home ties and tiptoed into the
elsewhere," I continued, gradually getting my nerve back.