effect was instantaneous on the alimentary canal, and a griping in the
transverse arch of the _colon_ well nigh put a full stop to the patient's
sufferings. The _ductus communis choledochus_ again deluged the stomach,
and with the customary consequences. The scene now, became almost
insupportable. An aged nurse, who had, from the infancy of the patient,
been his domestic, declared that she could hold out no longer. Poor
creature! the tear of affection glistened in her eye; while her convulsed
features betrayed uncontrollable sensations. It was a struggle between the
heart and the stomach: the heart, remained true, but the stomach turned.
At this the patient commenced cursing, swearing, and blaspheming, in a way
which will be found fully detailed with all due dashes --! --! --! &c. &c.
in the last number of a Northern magazine. "Zounds!" cried he, starting up
on his _séant_--"Who are you? who sent for you? May the fiends catch you
and cleave to you for ever! Give us the hips! a small glass of brandy! ha!
ha! ha! O my back! D--n all doctors! Here am I stung and tortured with
_gastritis, hepatitis, splenitis, nephritis, epistaxis, odontalgia,
cardialgia, diarhoea,_ and a whole legion of devils with Latin names! D--n
all doctors again, say I!" And with this exclamation, he hurled a curious
crown of crockery at my head, which fitted on so tightly, that only by
breaking it, could I disengage myself from the delfic diadem. I hastily
ran down stairs, and, meeting the man of six and forty in the passage, I
inquired of him very minutely concerning the state of his master. He
answered all my questions with perfect candour, and not without a certain
archness of look and manner rather unusual among men of six and forty in
his rank of life. From all I elicited, and also from certain corroborative
proofs, which I do not think it necessary now to specify, I have no
hesitation in declaring, for the information of the profession to which I
do not belong, and of the public generally, that in this case my abstruse
remedies had not a fair trial, inasmuch as the patient's state was
vulgarly simple. He had been _drunk_ the night before!