having neglected his counsel when there might be none to assist in
my recovery.

I observed in this last part of his discourse, which was truly
prophetic, though I suppose my father did not know it to be so himself;
I say, I observed the tears run down his face very plentifully, and
especially when he spoke of my brother who was killed; and that when he
spoke of my having leisure to repent, and none to assist me, he was so
moved, that he broke off the discourse, and told me, his heart was so
full he could say no more to me.

I was sincerely affected with this discourse, as indeed who could be
otherwise? and I resolved not to think of going abroad any more, but to
settle at home according to my father's desire. But, alas! a few days
wore it all off; and in short, to prevent any of my father's farther
importunities, in a few weeks after I resolved to run quite away from
him. However, I did not act so hastily neither as my first heat of
resolution prompted, but I took my mother, at a time when I thought her
a little pleasanter than ordinary, and told her, that my thoughts were
so entirely bent upon seeing the world, that I should never settle to
any thing with resolution enough to go through with it, and my father
had better give me his consent than force me to go without it; that I
was now eighteen years old, which was too late to go apprentice to a
trade, or clerk to an attorney; that I was sure, if I did, I should
never serve out my time, and I should certainly run away from my master
before my time was out, and go to sea; and if she would speak to my
father to let me go one voyage abroad, if I came home again, and did not
like it, I would go no more, and I would promise by a double diligence
to recover that time I had lost.