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The Humour of Homer and Other Essays by Samuel Butler
page 56 of 297 (18%)
Olympus rocks again. Thetis goes off under the sea and Jove returns
to his own palace. All the other gods stand up when they see him
coming, for they do not dare to remain sitting while he passes, but
Juno knows he has been hatching mischief against the Greeks with
Thetis, so she attacks him in the following words:

"You traitorous scoundrel," she exclaims, "which of the gods have
you been taking into your counsel now? You are always trying to
settle matters behind my back, and never tell me, if you can help
it, a single word about your designs."

"'Juno,' replied the father of gods and men, 'you must not expect to
be told everything that I am thinking about: you are my wife, it is
true, but you might not be able always to understand my meaning; in
so far as it is proper for you to know of my intentions you are the
first person to whom I communicate them either among the gods or
among mankind, but there are certain points which I reserve entirely
for myself, and the less you try to pry into these, or meddle with
them, the better for you.'"

"'Dread son of Saturn,' answered Juno, 'what in the world are you
talking about? I meddle and pry? No one, I am sure, can have his
own way in everything more absolutely than you have. Still I have a
strong misgiving that the old merman's daughter Thetis has been
talking you over. I saw her hugging your knees this very self-same
morning, and I suspect you have been promising her to kill any
number of people down at the Grecian ships, in order to gratify
Achilles.'"

"'Wife,' replied Jove, 'I can do nothing but you suspect me. You
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