CULVER. Perhaps I might read you something written by my private
secretary--he's one of these literary wags. You see there's been a
demand that the Government should state clearly, in every case of an
Honour, exactly what services the Honour is given for. This (_taking
paper from his pocket_) is supposed to be the stuff sent round to the
Press by the Press Bureau. (_Reads_.) 'Mr. Gentletie has gradually made
a solid reputation for himself as the dullest man in the House of
Commons. Whenever he rises to his feet the House empties as if by magic.
In cases of inconvenience, when the Government wishes abruptly to close
a debate by counting out the House, it has invariably put up Mr.
Gentletie to speak. The device has never been known to fail. Nobody can
doubt that Mr. Gentletie's patriotic devotion to the Allied cause well
merits the knighthood which is now bestowed on him.'

JOHN (_astounded_.) Stay me with flagons!

TRANTO. So that's that! And who else?

CULVER. Another of your esteemed uncles.

TRANTO. Well, that's not very startling, seeing that my uncle's chief
daily organ is really a department of the Government.

JOHN. What I say is--

HILDEGARDE (_simultaneously with_ John). Wouldn't it be more
correct--(_continuing alone_) wouldn't it be more correct to say that
the Government is really a department of your uncle's chief daily organ?