seasoning. I need 'ardly tell _you_, Sir, that new furniture nowadays
is a ticklish thing to invest in. _Such_ tricks, my dear Sir, _such_
nefarious dodges and artful fakements! (_Sighs._) But--(_taking up a
chair and banging it vigorously but adroitly on the floor_)--_this_
is stuff you can depend on, and 'll be better three years hence than
it is to-day. This saddle-bag _sweet_, Madam, is simply luxurious,
good enough for any doocal dinin'-room; the carpets throughout
are as elegantly hesthetick in design, as they are substantial in
fabric, whilst the--ahem! sleeping apartments, are perfect pickters
of combined solidity and chaste elegance. _I_ always say, that as
a real gentleman is known by his linen, so the 'ome of a party
of true taste may be tested by the bed-rooms. You'll excuse me,
Madam--(_smirks_)--but such are _my_ sentiments, _not_ as a salesman,
but as a family man.

[L.P. _takes_ EDWIN _and_ ANGELINA _the round of the
house, expatiating glowingly but discreetly as he goes, and
ultimately effects sale of the "furniture as it stands" for
a liberally proffered "ten-pun note off the advertised sum
tottle."_

SCENE III.--_Interior of Greengage Villa_. ANGELINA (_now_
Mrs. CANOODLE) _discovered in tears over the wreck of a
"Saddlebag" Sofa, very shaky as to legs, and shabby as to
"pile."_

_Angelina_ (_sobbing_). And to think that _dear_ EDWIN should have
spent his long savings on such wretched stuff as _this_! Oh, that
talkative but treacherous tout at Vamp Villa! Why, 'tis only six
months since we were married--(_bohoo!_)--and there's scarcely a thing