speech as "a SOPER-ific." At east, it is 'oped so, for the sake of
SOPER.

* * * * *

[Illustration: EXPERIENTIA DOCET.

"AND ARE _YOU_ GOING TO GIVE ME SOMETHING FOR MY BIRTHDAY, AUNTY
MAUD?"

"OF COURSE, DARLING."

"THEN _DON'T_ LET IT BE _SOMETHING USEFUL!_"]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Tuesday Night, November 25_.--New Session opened
to-day. Remarkable gathering of Members in the Lords to hear Queen's
Speech read. Unusual excitement, though heroically restrained in
presence of LORD CHANCELLOR, supported on Woolsack by four figures
in red cloaks and cocked hats, borrowed for occasion from Madame
Tussaud's. HALSBURY lost his temper once when Commission being read.
Tussaud's man, sent down to work the figures--make them take off their
cocked hats and nod upon cue being given by Reading Clerk--was on
duty for first time; much interested in arrival of Commons at the Bar;
instead of lying low behind Woolsack and minding his business, kept