Ninety per cent. of all daily friction is caused by tone--mere tone of
voice. Try this experiment. Say: 'Oh, you little darling, you sweet pet,
you entirely charming creature!' to a baby or a dog; but roar these
delightful epithets in the tone of saying: 'You infernal little
nuisance! If I hear another sound I'll break every bone in your body!'
The baby will infallibly whimper, and the dog will infallibly mouch off.
True, a dog is not a human being, neither is a baby. They cannot
understand. It is precisely because they cannot understand and
articulate words that the experiment is valuable; for it separates the
effect of the tone from the effect of the word spoken. He who speaks,
speaks twice. His words convey his thought, and his tone conveys his
mental attitude towards the person spoken to. And certainly the
attitude, so far as friction goes, is more important than the thought.
Your wife may say to you: 'I shall buy that hat I spoke to you about.'
And you may reply, quite sincerely, 'As you please.' But it will depend
on your tone whether you convey: 'As you please. I am sympathetically
anxious that your innocent caprices should be indulged.' Or whether you
convey: 'As you please. Only don't bother me with hats. I am above hats.
A great deal too much money is spent in this house on hats. However, I'm
helpless!' Or whether you convey: 'As you please, heart of my heart, but
if you would like to be a nice girl, go gently. We're rather tight.' I
need not elaborate. I am sure of being comprehended.

As tone is the expression of attitude, it is, of course, caused by
attitude. The frictional tone is chiefly due to that general attitude of
blame which I have already condemned as being absurd and unjustifiable.
As, by constant watchful discipline, we gradually lose this silly
attitude of blame, so the tone will of itself gradually change. But the
two ameliorations can proceed together, and it is a curious thing that
an agreeable tone, artificially and deliberately adopted, will