6 P.M.--It seems (as I imagined) that the report of my death and
funeral is a canard. This shows how necessary it is to test the truth
of every item of information before hurrying off to the Telegraph
Office. Efforts are now being made to bring about a reconciliation
between the contending parties.

8 P.M.--The revolution is over. When both sides had exhausted their
ammunition, peace naturally became a necessity. The contending parties
are now dining together, _al fresco_, as the town is in ruins. Nothing
more to add save, All's well that ends well!

* * * * *

MR. PUNCH'S DICTIONARY OF PHRASES.

WORKMEN'S.

_"Merry Christmas to you, Sir, and many on 'em!" i.e.,_ "Have you got
that half-crown handy?"

IN THE SMOKING-ROOM.

_"Quite so; but then, you see, that's not my point;" i.e.,_ "It _was_,
ten minutes ago."

_"Yes, but allow me one moment;" i.e.,_ "Kindly give me your close
attention for twenty-five minutes."

SOCIAL.