hugger-mugger purveyors of puddling balderdash who follow him has the
least conception of my glorious system. But I am willing to teach,
though I have nothing to learn. For six halfpenny stamps those who
desire to _know_, shall receive my pamphlet on "Book-making."
Every applicant must send his photograph with his application, not
necessarily for publication, but as a guarantee of good faith.

* * * * *

"SUR LE TAPIS."--It was a carpet that ostensibly parted an eminent
firm of composer, author, and theatrical manager. W.S.G. didn't want
D'OYLY CARPET--no, beg pardon, should have written D'OYLY CARTE to
have _carte blanche_. [Pretty name this. Is there a BLANCHE CARTE? If
not, "make it so."]--to do whatever he liked whenever he liked with
the decorating and upholstering of the theatre. And recently another
carpet, not in connection with the above firm, created a difficulty.
What's a thousand-guinea carpet to a man who likes this sort of
thing? Nothing. Yet as _amici curiae_, we would have thought that that
Tottenham Road carpet might have been kept out of Court. Wasn't that a
Blunder, MAPLE?

[Illustration: THE LOVE LETTER.--A STUDY OF INDISCRETION.]

* * * * *

FROM NILE TO NEVA.

["And the Egyptians made the children of Israel to serve
with rigour. And they made their lives bitter with hard
bondage."--_Exodus._