than the outward bearing I was yet to learn; however there was no
doubt that as far as I had seen of Lord Glenfallen, he was, though
perhaps not so young as might have been desired in a lover, a
singularly pleasing man, and whatever feeling unfavourable to him had
found its way into my mind, arose altogether from the dread, not
an unreasonable one, that constraint might be practised upon my
inclinations. I reflected, however, that Lord Glenfallen was a wealthy
man, and one highly thought of; and although I could never expect to
love him in the romantic sense of the term, yet I had no doubt but
that, all things considered, I might be more happy with him than I
could hope to be at home. When next I met him it was with no small
embarrassment, his tact and good breeding, however, soon reassured me,
and effectually prevented my awkwardness being remarked upon; and I
had the satisfaction of leaving Dublin for the country with the full
conviction that nobody, not even those most intimate with me, even
suspected the fact of Lord Glenfallen's having made me a formal
proposal. This was to me a very serious subject of self gratulation,
for, besides my instinctive dread of becoming the topic of the
speculations of gossip, I felt that if the situation which I occupied
in relation to him were made publicly known, I should stand committed
in a manner which would scarcely leave me the power of retraction. The
period at which Lord Glenfallen had arranged to visit Ashtown-house
was now fast approaching, and it became my mother's wish to form
me thoroughly to her will, and to obtain my consent to the proposed
marriage before his arrival, so that all things might proceed smoothly
without apparent opposition or objection upon my part; whatever
objections, therefore, I had entertained were to be subdued; whatever
disposition to resistance I had exhibited or had been supposed to
feel, were to be completely eradicated before he made his appearance,
and my mother addressed herself to the task with a decision and energy