character. I was, for several years after this occurrence, long after
the violence of my grief subsided, so wretchedly low-spirited and
nervous, that I could scarcely be said to live, and during this time,
habits of indecision, arising out of a listless acquiescence in the
will of others, a fear of encountering even the slightest opposition,
and a disposition to shrink from what are commonly called amusements,
grew upon me so strongly, that I have scarcely even yet, altogether
overcome them. We saw nothing more of Mr. Carew. He returned to
England as soon as the melancholy rites attendant upon the event
which I have just mentioned were performed; and not being altogether
inconsolable, he married again within two years; after which, owing to
the remoteness of our relative situations, and other circumstances, we
gradually lost sight of him. I was now an only child; and, as my elder
sister had died without issue, it was evident that, in the ordinary
course of things, my father's property, which was altogether in his
power, would go to me, and the consequence was, that before I was
fourteen, Ashtown-house was besieged by a host of suitors; however,
whether it was that _I_ was too young, or that none of the aspirants
to my hand stood sufficiently high in rank or wealth, I was suffered
by both parents to do exactly as I pleased; and well was it for me,
as I afterwards found that fortune, or, rather Providence, had so
ordained it, that I had not suffered my affections to become in any
degree engaged, for my mother would never have suffered any _silly
fancy_ of mine, as she was in the habit of styling an attachment,
to stand in the way of her ambitious views; views which she was
determined to carry into effect, in defiance of every obstacle, and in
order to accomplish which, she would not have hesitated to sacrifice
anything so unreasonable and contemptible as a girlish passion.

When I reached the age of sixteen, my mother's plans began to develope