conditions. No, I'm not suffering from dyspepsia or gout--I've simply
been watching people as they try to pass each other in halls and
doorways, and on the street. It's enough to make a man ashamed that he
was born a 'Lord of creation.'

"The average horse doesn't need to be guided when he sees another
horse coming the other way. He swerves to the right, as naturally
as a bull-dog chases a tramp. What does the average man do when he
suddenly meets another coming hurriedly in an opposite direction? He
places himself squarely in front of him and then begins a series of
side-steps, first to one side and then the other, in exact accordance
with those of the man he is trying to pass, like the mirror pantomime
in Hanlon's Fantasma. Finally, both come to a standstill, facing each
other, and one tries to execute a quick flank movement to the left.
Just at this moment the other suddenly remembers that he would have
avoided all this tomfoolery if he had only kept to the right, and
tries to make good on this hypothesis. The result is that they bump
into each other violently and begin side-stepping again. After another
round or two of Terpsichorean gymnastics one of them breaks through
the other's guard and escapes and each continues on his belated way,
thinking what an infernal idiot the other is.

[Illustration: "Oof!"]

"I have known men who gained international renown for their
strategy and 'sang froid' on the battlefield; men whose calmness
and deliberation have averted many a financial crisis and men whose
marvelous executive capacity and keen insight into human affairs have
won them great fortunes. I have seen these same men trying to pass
other pedestrians in a narrow hallway and act in a way which would