rope, he had never tackled a four-in-hand. He was game, however, and,
after a hard tussle, accomplished what is known in nautical parlance
as a 'clove hitch.' Fred's sister wore it night and day for a week and
then cut it off with a pair of scissors.

"Fred had another experience some time after this which nearly proved
serious. His sister was on the reception committee for a club function
one evening and asked her brother's advice in regard to mixing punch.
Fred is an obliging fellow, so he got his friend, who is a barkeeper,
to mix up a couple of gallons and send it over to the clubhouse with
his compliments. The barkeeper thought it was for Fred's club so he
made it good and stiff. It was an innocuous looking mixture and tasted
innocent enough, so the club women said it was 'bully' and partook
freely.

"About twelve o'clock that night, somebody telephoned for Fred to come
quick. Just exactly what happened, Fred never would tell, but it cost
him about $40 for cab fares and an equal amount to keep it out of the
papers. Now, whenever one of the club women sees him, she crosses the
street.

"I don't believe there is any province in Heaven for the mannish
woman. If there is, I know lots of men who would enter upon a life of
crime rather than take a chance of going there when they die. I think
there is a special place in Hades, where the mannish woman will be
made to wear a mother-hubbard and let down her back hair. If there
isn't, Mephistopheles don't understand his business a little bit."