aim is to discourage the use of tobacco. Now, of all the human pests
which afflict the long-suffering public, the anti-smoke agitator
is about the worst. Why, man alive! what would become of the human
race without tobacco? It is the grease which lubricates the Wheel
of Evolution. Since the time of Sir Walter Raleigh civilization
has advanced more rapidly by one hundred per cent. Nearly all great
inventors, artists and writers owe their inspiration to the pipe.

"A very successful newspaper man whom I know has four different pipes
and each serves a special purpose. When he wants to write a humorous
article, he says to his wife, 'Where is my funny pipe?' and she hands
him a long-handled affair with a weichsel-wood bowl and a cherry stem
that has a kind of rakish, good-natured curve to it. Then he sits
down and grinds out copy that will make an Englishman laugh at first
sight. A big, dumpy brier, with a shorter stem and a celluloid end, is
responsible for general descriptive work, sporting news, etc., while
a trim little meerschaum with a carved bowl engenders excellent
criticisms of music and drama. Occasionally, too, this bright
fellow, who does considerable work on the editorial page, gets into
a newspaper controversy. Then he pulls from his pocket a short
'bull-dog' with a horn tip, whose massive, square-jawed bowl and
ferocious short-curved stem breathe forth aggressiveness, and, jamming
it full of 'plug cut,' he writes one of those satirical, sledge-hammer
roasts which make him feared by his opponents.

"One night he was detailed to write up a show at one of the leading
theatres. The play was 'East Lynne,' which, as a tear-producer, ranks
away up and was presented by a first-class company. When the critic
reached home he was feeling pretty sad, so he looked around for his
meerschaum. His wife had been cleaning house that day and he couldn't