"No; we didn't touch or untie him, and that's just it. You tied him
to a trunk checked for two stations back. The trunk had to be put
off, and so we threw the dog off with the trunk!"



_Not the Kind She Wanted_

"Which way, please, to the corset department?" she asked of the
floor-walker.

"Straight back, madam."

"No, not straight back," was the reply. "I want a straight front."



_His Last Request_

JUDGE (to prisoner just condemned to death): "You have the legal
right to express a last wish, and if it is possible it will be
granted,"

PRISONER (a barber): "I should like just once more to be allowed to
shave the District Attorney."



_Why He Really Wanted to Go_