"conceited," which had occurred in the course of the reading lesson.
"Now, boys," he said, "suppose that I was always boasting of my
learning--that I knew a good deal o' Latin, for instance, or that my
personal appearance was--that I was very good-looking, y' know--what
should you say I was?"

Straightforward Boy; "Sure, sir, I'd say you was a liar, sir!"



_Wanted to Give Her Every Chance_

The clerk was most obliging, but the young woman customer was hard to
please. Roll after roll of blankets did he patiently take down and
show to her; nothing suited.

For some fifteen minutes this mock sale went on, then the young woman
said condescendingly, "Well, I don't intend to buy. I was just
looking for a friend."

"Wait a moment, madam," cried the clerk. "There is one more blanket
left on the shelf. Maybe you will find your friend in it."



_Murder Will Out_

The newly-graduated daughter who had decided to become an artist had
returned to her Boston home. "I am glad that your mind has taken a
turn toward art, for you know that more is expected of you now than