_Taking Mamma at Her Word_

MOTHER: "Ethel, you naughty child, what have you been doing to make
Charlie cry so?"

ETHEL: "I've only been sharing my cod-liver oil with him, mamma. You
said it was so nice."



_It Was Worse Than Bigotry_

A prisoner was brought before a police magistrate. He looked around
and discovered that his clerk was absent. "Here, officer," he said,
"what's this man charged with?"

"Bigotry, your Honor," replied the policeman. "He's got three wives."

The magistrate looked at the officer as though astounded at such
ignorance. "Why, officer," he said, "that's not bigotry--that's
trigonometry."




_A Devotional Turn of Mind_

As the new minister of the village was on his way to evening service
he met a rising young man of the place whom he was anxious to have
become an active member of the church.