The patience of the starter was nearly exhausted. "Bring up that
horse!" he shouted. "Bring him up!"

The rider of the refractory beast, a youthful Irishman, yelled back;
"I can't! This here's been a cab-horse, and he won't start till he
hears the door shut, an' I ain't got no door!"



_She Won Her Uncle_

Uncle Harry was a bachelor and not fond of babies. Even winsome
four-year-oid Helen failed to win his heart. Every one made too much
fuss over the youngster, Uncle Harry declared.

One day Helen's mother was called downstairs and with fear and
trembling asked Uncle Harry, who was stretched out on a sofa, if he
would keep his eye on Helen. Uncle Harry grunted "Yes," but never
stirred from his position--in truth his eyes were tight shut.

By-and-by wee Helen tiptoed over to the sofa and leaning over Uncle
Harry softly inquired:

"Feepy?"

"No," growled Uncle Harry.

"Tired?" ventured Helen.

"No," said her uncle.