"Yes, I'se heard of it."

"Well, you smoke, and there is nothing so unclean as the breath of a
smoker. So what do you say to that?"

"Well, when I go dere I 'spects to leave my breff behind me."



_Doubtful Assurances_

"Do you think they approved of my sermon?" asked the newly-appointed
rector, hopeful that he had made a good impression.

"Yes, I think so," replied his wife; "they were all nodding."



_A New Use for an Apple_

The tailor's sign in a little inland town was an apple, simply an
apple. The people were amazed at it. They came in crowds to the
tailor, asking him what on earth the meaning of the sign was.

The tailor with a complacent smile replied:

"If it hadn't been for an apple where would the clothing business be
today?"