an ear-splitting piece for voice, piano, violin and flute.

The thief staggered out from behind the screen at twelve-forty-five,
and falling at their feet, cried:

"For Heaven's sake, have me arrested!"



Some Amusing Blunders

A divine in drawing the attention of his congregation to a special
communion service on the following Sunday informed them that "the
Lord is with us in the forenoon and the Bishop in the evening."

A Scotch minister innocently, perhaps, hit the mark by telling his
people, "Weel, friends, the kirk is urgently in need of siller, and
as we have failed to get money honestly we will have to see what a
bazar can do for us."

There is a certain amount of excuse to be made for the young curate
who, remarking that some people came to church for no better reason
than to show off their best clothes, finished up as he glanced over
his audience, "I am thankful to see, dear friends, that none of you
has come here for that reason."

A negro student when conducting the prayers at one of the great
missionary colleges, said, "Give us all pure hearts, give us all
clean hearts, give us all sweet hearts," to which the entire
congregation made response, "Amen."