an odorous pipe in his mouth. One of the attendants called his
attention to the sign: "No smoking."

"Well," said Pat, "I'm not a-smokin'."

"But you have a pipe in your mouth."

"Shure, an' I've shoes on me feet an' I'm not walkin'."



_Her Affectionate Brothers_

It was Commencement Day at a well-known girls' seminary, and the
father of one of the young women came to attend the graduation
exercises. He was presented to the principal, who said, "I
congratulate you, sir, upon your extremely large and affectionate
family."

"Large and affectionate?" he stammered and looking very much
surprised.

"Yes, indeed," said the principal. "No less than twelve of your
daughter's brothers have called frequently during the winter to take
her driving and sleighing, while your eldest son escorted her to the
theatre at least twice a week. Unusually nice brothers they are."



_The Voice of the Lady_