"You are very kind, sir," she said, panting for breath.

"Not at all, madam," he replied; "it's not kindness; it's simply
self-defense."



_Not What She Expected_

A charming, well-preserved widow had been courted and won by a
physician. She had children. The wedding-day was approaching, and it
was time the children should know they were to have a new father.
Calling one of them to her she said: "Georgie, I am going to do
something before long that I would like to talk about with you."

"What is it, Ma ?" aiked the boy.

"I am intending to marry Doctor Jones in a few days, and----"

"Bully for you. Ma, Does Doctor Jones know it ?"



_Of Course_

The morning class had been duly instructed and enlightened upon the
subject of our national independence. Feeling sure she had made a
real and lasting impression with her explanations and blackboard
illustrations the young teacher began with the usual round of