Twice she commanded him to leave her, but Still he followed just
behind.

At last the old lady, quite disgusted, turned angrily around and said:

"Look here, my man, if you don't go away I shall call a policeman."

The poor fellow looked up at her with a tear in his eye, and then
remarked:

"For goodness' sake, mum, have mercy and don't call a policeman, for
ye're the on'y shady spot in the park."



_Wanted to Make Her Happy_

In one of the many hospitals in the South a bright, busy-looking and
duty-loving woman hustled up to one of the wounded soldiers who lay
gazing at the ceiling above his cot. "Can't I do something for you,
my poor fellow?" said the woman imploringly. The "poor fellow" looked
up languidly. The only things he really wanted just at that time were
his discharge and a box of cigars. When he saw the strained and
anxious look on the good woman's face, however, he felt sorry for her,
and with perfect sang froid he replied: "Why, yes; you can wash my
face if you want to."

"I'd be only too glad to," gasped the visitor eagerly.