_The Only Way He Could Help_

Chief Justice Matthews, while presiding over the Supreme Court at
Washington, took the several Justices of the Court for a run down
Chesapeake Bay. A stiff wind sprang up, and Justice Gray was getting
decidedly the worst of it. As he leaned over the rail in great
distress, Chief Justice Matthews touched him on the shoulder and said
in a tone of deepest sympathy: "Is there anything I can do for you,
Gray?"

"No, thank you," returned the sick Justice, "unless your Honor can
overrule this motion."



_He Was Willing to Oblige_

A young North Carolina girl is charming, but, like a great many other
charming people, she is poor. She never has more than two evening
gowns in a season, and the ruin of one of them is always a very
serious matter to her. She went to a little dancing-party last week
and she wore a brand-new white frock. During the evening a great big,
red-faced, perspiring man came up and asked her to dance. He wore no
gloves. She looked at his well-meaning but moist hands despairingly,
and thought of the immaculate back of her waist. She hesitated a bit,
and then she said, with a winning smile;