"I remember," she said, "that I did behave very well at the time; but
I wish you could have seen the marks of my teeth on the bedpost that
night."



_Necessity and Invention_

A mother with her seven children started away on a journey. After
entering the car the largest child was laid out flat on the seat, and
the remaining six then sat upon him in a row.

When the conductor came around to collect the fares the mother counted
her money, handed it over, smiled, and suavely said: "Sir, the oldest
is under six."



_Taking No Chances_

An epileptic dropped in a fit on the streets of Boston not long ago,
and was taken to a hospital. Upon removing his coat there was found
pinned to his waistcoat a slip of paper on which was written:

"This is to inform the house-surgeon that this is just a case of plain
fit: not appendicitis. My appendix has already been removed twice."



_Too Much Curiosity_