flurried maid, who had been struggling in the kitchen with a coffee
machine that refused to work, confessed that she had forgotten to wash
the lettuce.

"Well, never mind, Eliza. Go on with the coffee, and I'll do it,"
said the considerate mistress. "Where do you keep the soap?"



_He Did His Best_

A hungry Irishman went into a restaurant on Friday and said to the
waiter:

"Have yez any whale?"

"No."

"Have yez any shark?"

"No."

"Have yez any swordfish?"

"No."

"Have yez any jellyfish?"

"No."