_What Else Could He Be_?

There is a man who is the head of a large family, nearly every member
of which is a performer on some kind of musical instrument.

A friend who was visiting the house of this man referred to the fact,
remarking that it must be a source of great pleasure to the family,
but to this observation the father made no reply.

"Really," continued the friend, "it is remarkable. Your younger son
is a cornetist, both your daughters are pianists, your wife is a
violinist, and, I understand, the others are also musicians. Now
what are you, the father of such a musical combination ?"

"I," replied the old man sadly--"I am a pessimist."



_He Had to Stand Up_

An American doctor built an elegant home, says the "San Francisco
Chronicle"; his bathroom was exceptionally beautiful, being of white
marble with silver hardware; a music-box was concealed in the room.
After completion of the home an Englishman came to visit the doctor.
Now the English always show great respect for their sovereign and
their country, and this one was no exception.