"No, madam," humbly responded the new boarder; "boil."



_Really, All the Same_

As the railroad train was stopping an old lady, not accustomed to
traveling, hailed the passing conductor and asked:

"Conductor, what door shall I get out by?"

"Either door, ma'am," graciously answered the conductor. "The car
stops at both ends."



_He Had a Good Excuse_

"Good-morning, Mrs. Stubbins," said the parson; "is your husband at
home?"

"'E's 'ome, sir, but 'e's abed," replied Mrs. Stubbins, who had just
finished hanging a pair of recently-patched trousers on the
clothesline.

"How is it he didn't come to church on Sunday? You know we must have
our hearts in the right place."

"Lor', sir," retorted the faithful wife,"'is 'eart's all right. It's