recently-widowed Uncle some verses about "_Darby and Joan_," and my
Mother-in-law is not likely to feel complimented if I forward to her a
poetically expressed suggestion that there is no pleasanter place than
her own home--away, of course, from her Son-in-law! And yet these
are the problems that meet the would-be Yule Tide card distributer at
every turn! I remain, my dear _Mr. Punch_, yours sincerely,

ONE WHO WISHES TO AVOID A ROW.

P.S.--If this arrives late, thank the cards that have overtaxed the
postal arrangements.

* * * * *

THE UNITED SERVICE DIARY FOR 1891.

[Illustration: Extremes Meet.]

_January to March_.--Soldiers on leave. Sailors at sea. Civil Servants
reading the morning paper.

_April to June_.--Soldiers at play. Sailors in harbour. Civil Servants
reading the morning paper.

_July to September_.--Soldiers at sea (autumn manoeuvres). Sailors at
play (_ditto_). Civil Servants away (_ditto_).

_October to December_.--Soldiers on leave. Sailors at sea. Civil
Servants reading the morning paper.