_August_.--On the 1st, in 1834, no less than 770,280 British slaves
were freed. You might ask satirically, how many slaves (be they
husbands or be they wives) now exist? You might offer this to a
clergyman to be used in a sermon. On the 26th, Anniversary of the
Battle of Cressy. Opportunity for saying (at the breaking-up of an
infant school) that on account of the extremely warm reception to
which the French were welcomed on that occasion, the victory might be
appropriately called, "the Battle of Mustard-and-Cressy." This will be
found pleasing by a Colonial Briton home on furlough, and an Honorary
Royal Academician living in retirement.

_September_.--On the 1st, Shooting at Partridges commences.
Opportunity for aiming old jokes about firing off guns without
loading, killing dead birds, &c, &c. On the 3rd, the present Lord
Chancellor born in 1825--the name of GIFFARD entombed in Hals-_bury_.
A little obscure this, but, if carefully worked out, will amply repay
time and attention. On the 9th THOMAS WATTS (who may be amusingly
called "Watts-his-name"), died in 1869. Not much in this, but may
possibly fill up an awkward pause during the reading of a will, or
the arrival of fresh hot water at a newly-married lady's initial
hospitality at five o'clock tea.

_October_.--FIELDING, the novelist, _bowled out_ on the 8th in
1754. Battle of Agincourt on the 25th--an awful example to habitual
drunkards. Pheasant-shooting commences. Right time to tell that story
about the Cockney who, dropping his "h's," shot _peasants_ instead!
This well-worn jest will be still found attractive by Australians who
have spent the better part of their lives in the Bush.

[Illustration: ALWAYS ENTERTAINING;