* * * * *

[Illustration: AN INTERESTED PARTY.

_St. Bernard's Dog_ (_confidentially to Mr. Chaplin_). "NEVER MIND
THE OLD WOMAN; LET'S KEEP THE MUZZLE ON FOR A YEAR, AND HAVE DONE WITH
IT!"]

* * * * *

CANINE CONFIDENCES.

_Clever Dog, to the Minister of Agriculture, loquitur_--

POTTERER, put the muzzle on! Potterer, take it off again!
_That_ is not the way, my friend, cruel _rabies_ to restrain.
Take my tip!
As to self-styled "friends of dogs," too preposterous by half,
Who object to all restraint, they deserve on seat or calf
One sharp nip.

It is _doggish_ interest hydrophobia to stamp out;
'Tis a curse to us canines; that no person well can doubt
Who has sense.
They who think we doggies share old maid's sentimental fad,
Just as though it really were a dog's _privilege_ to go mad,
Must be dense.

Muzzles are a bore, of course, rather troublesome at times,
But I'd rather have my nose made incapable of crimes,