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The First Hundred Thousand by Ian Hay
page 45 of 303 (14%)

(b) A soldier, with his arm round a lady's waist in the gloaming,
encounters an officer.

_Correct Procedure_.--The soldier will salute with his disengaged arm.
The lady will administer a sharp tap with the end of her umbrella to
the officer's tunic, at point one inch above the lowest button.

_Correct Acknowledgment_.--The officer will take the end of the
umbrella firmly in his right hand, and will require the soldier to
introduce him to the lady. He will then direct the soldier to double
back to barracks.

(c) A party of soldiers, seated upon the top of a transport waggon,
see an officer passing at the side of the road.

_Correct Procedure_.--The senior N.C.O. (or if no N.C.O. be present,
the oldest soldier) will call the men to attention, and the party,
taking their time from the right, will spit upon the officer's head in
a soldier-like manner.

_Correct Acknowledgment_.--The officer will break into a smart trot.

(d) A soldier, driving an officer's motor-car without the knowledge of
the officer, encounters the officer in a narrow country lane.

_Correct Procedure_.--The soldier will open the throttle to its full
extent and run the officer over.

_Correct Acknowledgment_.--No acknowledgment is required.
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