And the wretch's wife was so nervous that she talked all the time
about people the others had never seen or heard of. And she said she
"never used tomattus." And she wasn't ashamed of what she was
chewing either.

Mrs. Stubblebine would have felt much obliged to fate if she had been
presented with an apoplectic stroke. But she had to sit the dinner
out. From what she said to her poor husband afterward, however, one
might have gathered that he picked out those relatives just to spite
her, when as a matter of fact he had always loathed them and
regretted them and the next day he borrowed enough money to lend them
and send them back to the soil.

Mrs. Budlong had constituted herself Entertainment Committee for all
sorts of visitors. If a young girl came home from boarding school
with a classmate, the real hostess had hardly time to show her to the
spare room, and say, "This is the bathroom, round here; watch out for
the step. And if the water don't run just wait--" when the telephone
would go Brrrrr! And there would be Mrs. Budlong brandishing an
invitation to a dinner party.

When the supply of guests ran low she would visit the sick. If a
worn-out housewife slept late some morning to catch up, Mrs. Budlong
would hear of it and rush over with a broth or something. It is said
that old Miss Malkin got out of bed with an unfinished attack of
pneumonia, just to keep from eating any more of Mrs. Budlong's wine
jellies.

In Carthage one pays for the telephone by the year. The company lost