"Oh, there ain't any doubt but what everybody in town is doing that."

"Ulysses Budlong! how can you talk so!"

"If people without money couldn't make fun of people with--what
consolation would they have? Anyway, it's not me but the other folks
you're supposed to quarrel with. You spend an hour at that telephone
and you can get the whole town by the ears."

"But I can't use the same excuse for everybody."

"You'll think up plenty once you put your mind to it." And with that
another excuse came in pat. Came in howling and flagrant.

Ulysses Junior burst into the room, as if he had forgotten the presence
of the door. He was yelping like a coyote and from his tiny nose an
astonishing amount of blood was spouting.

"What on earth is the matter!" the startled mother gasped. "Come here
to me, you poor child---and be careful not to bleed on the new rug."

Ulysses' articulation was impeded with sobs and the oscillations of
three semi-detached teeth, that waved in the breeze as he screamed:
"Little Clarence Detwiller LICKED me! so he did! and I on'y p-pushed
him off his sled into a puddle of ice wa-wa-water and he attackted me
and kicked my f-f-Face-ace off."

Mr. and Mrs. Budlong were so elated with the same idea that they forgot
to console their heart-broken offspring with more than Mr. Budlong's