Didst thou ever see me do such a fool's trick?

* * * * *

[Illustration: PATENT INFLATED SAFETY SKATING COSTUME FOR ICE OR
RINK.]

* * * * *

AUDITORS IN WONDERLAND.

"If you please," said the Auditor of the Tottenham School Board
accounts, "would you explain to me what that curious thing is that you
have got in your hand?"

"With pleasure," replied the White Knight, who had recently been
elected as a Member of the Board. "It's a Tellurium."

"I see that it cost the ratepayers four pounds to buy. What is the use
of it?"

"Use?" said the White Knight, in mild surprise. "Oh, it's a most
useful thing. A child who can't think of the right answer to a
question about the stars, only has to put this thing on its head--at
Examination time, you know--and it at once remembers all about it.
It's got Electricity or something inside it. And the shape is my own
invention."

"That's why it's called a Tellurium, then," remarked the Auditor, who
could hardly help laughing, it all seemed so strange; "because, when