to polite deceit. They must needs be rough and rude. If it were not for
its coarse, thick bark, the oak could not withstand the storm.

I have found that this rough bark covers more tenderness and sincerity
than does the smoothest surface.

* * * * *

Jochem told me, to-day, that he is still quite a good walker, but that a
blind man finds it very troublesome to go anywhere; for at every step he
is obliged to grope about, so that he may feel sure of his ground before
he firmly plants his foot on the earth.

Is it not the same with me? Am I not obliged to be sure of the ground
before I take a step?

Such is the way of the fallen.

Ah! why does everything I see or hear become a symbol of my life?

* * * * *

I have now been here between two and three years. I have formed a
resolve which it will be difficult to carry out. I shall go out into the
world once more. I must again behold the scenes of my past life. I have
tested myself severely.

May it not be a love of adventure, that genteel yet vulgar desire to
undertake what is unusual or fraught with peril? Or is it a morbid
desire to wander through the world after having died, as it were?