I know now; it was a desire to be at one with myself, to understand
myself. Myself in the world, and the world in me.

* * * * *

The vain man is the loneliest of human beings. He is constantly longing
to be seen, understood, acknowledged, admired, and loved.

I could say much on the subject, for I too was once vain. It was only in
actual solitude that I conquered the loneliness of vanity. It is enough
for me that I exist.

How far removed this is from all that is mere show.

* * * * *

Now I understand my father's last act. He did not mean to punish me. His
only desire was to arouse me; to lead me to self-consciousness; to the
knowledge which, teaching us to become different from what we are,
saves us.

* * * * *

I understand the inscription in my father's library:--"When I am alone,
then am I least alone."

Yes; when alone, one can more perfectly lose himself in the life
universal. I have lived and have come to know the truth. I can now die.

* * * * *