wretched, in the very beginning of my early youth, had begged chastity
of thee, and said, "Give me chastity and continency, only not yet." For
I feared lest thou shouldest hear me soon, and soon cure me of the
disease of concupiscence, which I wished to have satisfied, rather than
extinguished. And I had wandered through crooked ways in a sacrilegious
superstition, not indeed assured thereof, but as preferring it to the
others which I did not seek religiously, but opposed maliciously.

But when a deep consideration had, from the secret bottom of my soul,
drawn together and heaped up all my misery in the sight of my heart,
there arose a mighty storm, bringing a mighty shower of tears. And that
I might pour it forth wholly in its natural expressions, I rose from
Alypius: solitude was suggested to me as fitter for the business of
weeping; and I retired so far that even his presence could not be a
burden to me. Thus was it then with me, and he perceived something of
it; for something I suppose he had spoken, wherein the tones of my voice
appeared choked with weeping, and so had risen up. He then remained
where we were sitting, most extremely astonished. I cast myself down I
know not how, under a fig-tree, giving full vent to my tears; and the
floods of mine eyes gushed out, an acceptable sacrifice to thee. And,
not indeed in these words, yet to this purpose, spake I much unto
thee:--"And thou, O Lord, how long? how long, Lord, wilt thou be
angry--forever? Remember not our former iniquities," for I felt that I
was held by them. I sent up these sorrowful words: "How long? how long?
To-morrow and to-morrow? Why not now? why is there not this hour an end
to my uncleanness?"


CONSOLATION