more is it incumbent upon you to praise them. Should the baby
entertain you with a passionate squall for an hour or two, vow that it
is "a charming child"--"a sweet pet"--"a dear, pretty, little
creature," &c. &c. Call red hair auburn, and "a sweet, uncommon
colour;" a squint, or cross-eye, think "an agreeable expression;"
maintain that an ugly child is extremely handsome, and the image
either of one or other of its parents, or of its handsomest,
wealthiest, or most aristocratic relations. Discover which of a
family is mamma's, and which papa's favourite, and pay your court
accordingly; for it is better to lavish, in this case, your attentions
and encomiums upon one or two, than upon all.

When requiring an introduction to any great people, scruple not to
avail yourself of the services of the little; but when mounted as high
as you please, by all means kick down your ladders, cast away your
stepping stones--since they might, instead of being of any further
assistance, only prove incumbrances to you.

Take every opportunity of joining in conversation with those to whom
you desire to recommend yourself. Should you feel at a loss for topics
of discourse, mention servants, and tradesmen, upon whom fail not to
bestow most hearty abuse;--vow that they are an unprincipled set of
knaves, scoundrels, and thieves. Hence you will be thought to have
"much to say for yourself;" and should you be enabled to narrate any
grievous losses sustained from these members of society, you will
obtain credit for having "something to lose" at any rate, and find it
of incalculable value.

When you direct a letter to a knight bachelor--though it is indeed
customary and well-bred to omit altogether the Knt.--yet it will never