Betty's, and, if possible, more sumptuously garnished, but in a
flagrant fool way. On the Sunday morning after, her ladyship sent
for Jenny Gaffaw, and her daft daughter Meg, and showed them the
mantles, and said she would give then half-a-crown if they would go
with them to the kirk, and take their place in the bench beside the
elders, and, after worship, walk home before Miss Betty Wudrife.
The two poor natural things were just transported with the sight of
such bravery, and needed no other bribe; so, over their bits of
ragged duds, they put on the pageantry, and walked away to the kirk
like peacocks, and took their place on the bench, to the great
diversion of the whole congregation.

I had no suspicion of this, and had prepared an affecting discourse
about the horrors of war, in which I touched, with a tender hand, on
the troubles that threatened families and kindred in America; but
all the time I was preaching, doing my best, and expatiating till
the tears came into my eyes, I could not divine what was the cause
of the inattention of my people. But the two vain haverels were on
the bench under me, and I could not see them; where they sat,
spreading their feathers and picking their wings, stroking down and
setting right their finery; with such an air as no living soul could
see and withstand; while every eye in the kirk was now on them, and
now at Miss Betty Wudrife, who was in a worse situation than if she
had been on the stool of repentance.

Greatly grieved with the little heed that was paid to my discourse,
I left the pulpit with a heavy heart; but when I came out into the
kirkyard, and saw the two antics linking like ladies, and aye
keeping in the way before Miss Betty, and looking back and around in
their pride and admiration, with high heads and a wonderful pomp, I