Greenville Falls, N.Y.
April 2, 1917.

Deer godchild,

Say what is the matter with you ennyway and why don't you want me to
support you enny longer? I am your godfather and you are my godchild
and it is a legal afare, dad sez, and if ennybody sez ennything about
it they will have to deel with me, see? Ennyway mebbe I was kinder
cranky about it, and you kinder fibbd, so lets say we had a scrap
and shake on it and let it go at that. Lots of the fellers hear have
scraps with the girls, and last weak Dinky Odell who is Carl Odells
yungist brother had one with Heloise because he hollerd, Heloise go
wash your feet, the bord of helths across the street, at her and she
cried, but he sent her a peach of a poim to make up, and hear it is,
"If you dont like me enny more, then I shall inlist and go to war!" I
guess Dinky is goin to be a poit al-rite. You no I mite go to war two,
lots of the fellers hear are inlistin in forrin regimunts, theres Carl
Odell who has joind the Canadian Royal Fling Corpse, and Hanky Jones
is goin to drive a truck in France and I guess he will be some driver
al-rite because he has druv the new automobile hearse fer too years
now, and say he goes like the dickuns. Corse I aint sayin Im goin
to inlist rite away but I got some ideas in mind and Im thinking of
raisin a regiment of boy scouts or Red Indians, I guess the Red skins
wood be the best, and say woodnt Kaiser Bill look chepe if he saw
a bunch of Red Skins beatin it after him? I bet hed run to beat the
band, and I bet theyd catch him, and if they did, goodnite fer Kaiser