He saw I was drunk, and fanned out, me shootin' at him with every
jump. He had proof, he said, and he called for the president of his
Union, Mr. Heegan. At the name all the loafers and stew-bums in the
court-room stomped and said, 'Hear, hear,' while up steps this
Napoleon of the Hoboes.

"Sure, he knew Mr. Murdock--had known him for years, and he was
perfectly reliable and honest. As to his robbing me, it was
preposterous, because he himself was at the other end of the alley
and saw the whole thing, just as Mr. Murdock related it.

"I jumps up. 'You're a liar, Heegan. I was buyin' booze for the two
of you;' but a policeman nailed me, chokin' off my rhetorics. Mr.
Heegan leans over and whispers to the Judge, while I got chilblains
along my spine.

"'Look here, kind Judge,' says I real winning and genteel, 'this man
is so good at explainin' things away, ask him to talk off this bump
over my ear. I surely didn't get a buggy spoke and laminate myself
on the nut.

"'That'll do,' says the Judge. 'Mr. Clerk, ten dollars and
costs--charge, drunk and disorderly. Next!'

"'Hold on there,' says I, ignorant of the involutions of justice, 'I
guess I've got the bulge on you this time. They beat you to me,
Judge. I ain't got a cent. You can go through me and be welcome to
half you find. I'll mail you ten when I get home though, honest.'

"At that the audience giggled, and the Judge says:--