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Some Reminiscences by Joseph Conrad
page 37 of 141 (26%)
to fall thickly again, and they were four more hours getting home. Both
the men took off their sheepskin-lined great-coats and used all their
own rugs to wrap her up against the cold, notwithstanding her protests,
positive orders and even struggles, as Valery afterwards related to me.
'How could I,' he remonstrated with her, 'go to meet the blessed soul
of my late master if I let any harm come to you while there's a spark of
life left in my body?' When they reached home at last the poor old man
was stiff and speechless from exposure, and the coachman was in not much
better plight, though he had the strength to drive round to the stables
himself. To my reproaches for venturing out at all in such weather,
she answered characteristically that she could not bear the thought of
abandoning me to my cheerless solitude. It is incomprehensible how it
was that she was allowed to start. I suppose it had to be! She made
light of the cough which came on next day, but shortly afterwards
inflammation of the lungs set in, and in three weeks she was no more!
She was the first to be taken away of the young generation under my
care. Behold the vanity of all hopes and fears! I was the most frail
at birth of all the children. For years I remained so delicate that my
parents had but little hope of bringing me up; and yet I have survived
five brothers and two sisters, and many of my contemporaries; I have
outlived my wife and daughter too--and from all those who have had some
knowledge at least of these old times you alone are left. It has been
my lot to lay in an early grave many honest hearts, many brilliant
promises, many hopes full of life."

He got up brusquely, sighed, and left me, saying: "We will dine in half
an hour." Without moving I listened to his quick steps resounding on
the waxed floor of the next room, traversing the anteroom lined with
bookshelves, where he paused to put his chibouk in the pipe-stand before
passing into the drawing-room (these were all en suite), where he became
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