ATHLETICS.--It is said that the County Council are resolved to forbid
the popular feats of raising heavy weights, upon the ground that it
may lead to shoplifting.

* * * * *

WORKING AND PLAYING BEES.--_Lady B-ountiful_ first, at the Garrick,
and _Lady B-arter_ at the Princess's.

* * * * *

[Illustration: OLD FRIENDS.

_Big Ben_. "OH, FLATTERY'S THE BANE OF FRIENDSHIP! JUST LOOK AT YOU
AND ME, OLD MAN! WHY, I'VE _ALWAYS_ TOLD YOU THE TRUTH ABOUT YOURSELF,
HOWEVER DISAGREEABLE! IT'S A WAY I HAVE. AND YET WE'VE BEEN FAST
FRIENDS FOR FORTY YEARS, AND I LIKE YOU BETTER THAN ANY FRIEND I
POSSESS! INDEED, YOU'RE ABOUT THE ONLY FRIEND I'VE GOT LEFT!"

_Little Dick_ (_dreamily_). "AH, BUT YOU MUST REMEMBER THAT I'VE
_NEVER TOLD YOU THE TRUTH BACK AGAIN!_"]

* * * * *

THE FIRST ACT--AND THE LAST.

(_A DEPARTMENTAL TRAGI-COMEDY, IN ACTIVE REHEARSAL._)

ACT I.--_The Scene represents the Interior of a Military Instruction